Round 2 of the Players. This blog is going to be better than the one yesterday. That is a promise. To myself, you guys and most importantly, myself.
Remember how yesterday I mentioned that 17 was wicked hard? Well I must’ve gotten in Tiger’s head because he put two of his Bridgestones into the pond and made a god damn 7 on 17 today. A quadruple bogey. It’s not as embarrassing as Spieth on 12 at Augusta but it’s still not great. Had to thro that thing in about Spieth so I wouldn’t look as bad for possibly ruining Tiger’s day by getting in the fortress he calls a mind.I hate to point it out but last time a player won with a quad at any time during the tournament was Adam Scott in 2016 at the Honda.
Usually Vice sucks. Their Snapchat stories about fart fetishes or people that amputate their perfectly healthy limbs (both of those are real things they wrote about) are the dumbest things on the internet. But if you need to help understanding why I like Kevin Kisner so much just watch this video they made with him.
Just a guys guy. Regular dude who happens to be ridiculous at golf. “You brought microwaveable fish? You’re gonna die!” Then at like the 5 minute mark two of the randos he’s playing with are talking and Kiz is just pissing in the woods. Gotta love it.
Kiz finished yesterday T8 and was in the lead for most of his day. He stands at -8 which is really a disappointment on the day because it looked like he had a great opportunity to be 10 or 11 under.
Expect the Europeans and short hitters like Kiz to turn it on today and on the weekend. Usually this tournament is held in May but they’ve switched the schedule up to put this in March and the PGA Championship in May instead of August so there’s less conflict with college football. I’m not a weather man but the guys on the telecast were talking about how much windier it is there in Ponte Vedra in March than in May. Europeans like Tommy Fleetwood and Russell Knox, who are near the top of the board, should stay around the top if they don’t wind up winning the whole thing. They’re from England and Scotland respectively and when you think of golf in those countries you think wind and links. It’s all about knowing how to flight the ball to get it to land where you want. Winning this tournament will be about beating the wind and staying in the fairway. Bombers like Tiger and Bubba will struggle with accuracy and that will be their demise this week. (I would like to say I’ve been working on this intermittently al day for you guys and I said this before Fleetwood teed off and started dicking on the entire field) (and now he moves into the weekend leading at 12 under).
Moving into the weekend, some notable players are 231 year old Jim Furyk who sits at -9 after going DEEP and shooting a 64, coke addict and friend of Wayne Gretzky Dustin Johnson sits 5 back, Neil Degrasse Tyson wannabe Bryson DeChambeau and his stupid hat are at -5, the GOAT (Tiger Woods for those without a brain) is -3 and 9 back and Spanish Anger Management Jon Rahm is currently -7 and Rory is tied for the lead.
Speaking of Furyk, can we talk about this horrid tan line: 
Some of the losers that missed the cut are Jordan “What the hell happened to him?” Spieth, Phil “Dumb with money” Mickelson, and Justin “Smells good like a” Rose.
And I can’t not talk about this ace from Sung Jae Im:
It’s probably cheating to make a pick right now because the tournament is half over and I took Rahm yesterday but I’d take Tommy Fleetwood now to win his first PGA Tour event and lift that new Players trophy on Sunday.
Artist’s rendition of what Sunday could look like
I would also like to be the first to publicly welcome Steve Tedeschi aboard the green line. Big Bruins kid. Feel the Bern, Steven.
(I hope all those links work)
Anything But E 