*Disclaimer*: the following blog contains issues of racism. There are real issues of racism in this country and I’m not making fun of them or belittling the struggles of any person. I’m just satirically pointing out a type of racism that goes unnoticed. Sorry to get all serious there. Back to our regularly scheduled program.
Listen, I don’t wanna be the party popper or the Debbie downer. I don’t want to spoil the fun but there’s some things you all should know. St. Patrick was an IRISH saint who got ride of all the snakes from IRELAND. And we celebrate it in America. Mother Theresa tried to get rid of all the poverty in India and Americans don’t use that as an excuse to get hammered.
And why is that?
That is because Indian people are not stereotyped as dummies and drunks. Irish people are though.
St. Patrick’s Day is a day of drinking (for those of legal age. Have fun Cooper) and a celebration of casual racism against Irish people. Even the legends surrounding it are racist. You run around and try to find a leprechaun so you can take his pot of gold? 1.) A leprechaun is just a diminutive (oh big word guy), stereotypical Irish person. 
This racist asshole right here. The orange beard, might even have a few freckles painted on. 2.) It literally promotes theft in the form of robbing the leprechaun. We’re supposed to find Irish people, preferably Irish midgets, and rob them blind. The legend of the leprechaun exists and we’re all just fine letting kids believe it. Yeah, once a year little Irish people will terrorize your village until you steal their gold and send them to a Guinness infused depressive state.
It’s just casual racism though. This will be the only blog out there calling St. Patrick’s Day problematic. Nobody else gives a shit. There won’t be any tweets about it. There won’t be any news stories of all the racists out there “celebrating”, I call it mocking, Ireland. People act like Irish people have never been oppressed. Ireland forgot how to grow potatoes, their one food supply, because England bullied them so hard for centuries. The Irish were bullied in America too. They were indentured servants when they first came over. And Holy Cross exists because and Irish Catholic wasn’t allowed at the Protestant school of Boston College. Yeah fuck you BC. I’m not saying Ireland’s had it better or worse than other groups of people. I’d never do that. Othering is wrong. But it hasn’t been all marshmallows and rainbows either like the Lucky Charms box.
The typical Irish stereotypes are they are angry, drunk, lazy and have orange hair/features. How many drunk people are you going to see getting mad at their friends who may or may not have orange hair? Probably a lot. It’s disgusting. Irish lives matter, you guys.
I’m Irish and I don’t give a shit. So everyone, enjoy your racism and drinking. Please be responsible. Don’t be getting into any trouble or anything this weekend. Try not to be too stupid.
Happy St. Patrick’s weekend everyone.
Chances Conor McGregor gets arrested today: 10,000-1
And as a very smart man once said, “If anyone gives 10,000 to 1 odds on anything, you take that bet.” -Kevin Malone
Anything But E 