See the play on words? We’re opening the blogging season with a blog about two (deuce) games and in the opener the Red Sox laid a deuce (deuce means poop).
We clearly know what we’re doing.
Opening Day:
Sale pitcher so unbelievably bad that we have not seen a start so poor from him since August 2017 but Cora’s not worried so I’m not worried. Sure his velocity was down but that could be due to the fact that Seattle has denser, wetter air. That’s why they have a rainforest. It’s the marine climate.
All game, or the three innings he was in, Sale was missing a foot glove side. Take this with a grain of salt because I’m about to act like I know pitching just because I pitched in high school but it looked like was missing his footing. Stuff like that is gonna happen when you only get 9 innings of pitching in spring.
Home runs came from everyone for Seattle but that may be because Seattle is at higher elevation and the air is thinner and lighter so the ball flies out of the park easier. It’s physics.
Thornburg? Not that bad. Yeah his ERA is currently 18.00. That’s due to a Domingo Santana home run. If you look back at that pitch, Santana had no business even swinging at that pitch. He just put a good swing on it. Thornburg can’t do anything about that. He threw a good pitch and Santana turned on it. Whatever. That’s baseball. Other than that home run, Thornburg looked pretty good despite his wide ass stance on the mound. I don’t know why I never noticed his bowlegs before. He looked good though. Just needs the opportunities to really prove himself.Outside of him and Johnson, the Sox looked pretty shitty as a staff.
The offense looked good though. Everyone but Mitch collected a hit. In total, the Sox had 10 hits to Seattle’s 12. Offensively, the teams were about even. Seattle didn’t look sharp pitching or on defense. They just did more with their hits than Boston did. We’ll get em next time.
04, 07, 18 we started 0-1 and those seasons ended up going fairly well.
It could’ve been worse, someone could’ve died. Speaking of the podcast you guys should give it a listen. It may or may not be pretty good. (Spoiler: it’s neither. It’s very good)
Sox lose 12-4 (0-1; 5th place in the East)
Game 2:
The home runs for Seattle didn’t stop at opening day. Eovaldi, like Sale, got slapped around more than a piñata at a Pat Brown birthday party and gave up a home run after being on the mound for all of 12 seconds but followed that up by striking out Haniger so it’s not thaaaaaaaat bad. And then Domingo Santana put one out. That’s bad. I really thought he was going to pitch flawlessly. And he just didn’t. I ask, can anybody in the state of Massachusetts pitch?
Xander finally catches up to Jhoulys Chacin in home runs this year at 1. I know we were all waiting desperately for when that would happen. He is on pace for 81 home runs this season which I’ve been told would be some kind of record.
Also: JD began his reign of terror on baseballs nation wide (continent if you want to get specific about Toronto) with his first home run of the year in the sixth and it just so happens that he hit it just as we put out our first podcast? Hmmmm… Coincidence? I think not.
Edit: I thought I was done writing this and then Nunez’s brain turned off. Dude just stopped running to first. Not just jogging. He stopped moving and was obviously thrown out as part of a double play. I mean, it was coming at some point-Nunez being a god damn space shot on the basepaths.
I don’t know what TOOTBLAN’D means but I hope it’s not a bad word.
Sam Travis started tonight over both Moreland, who went 0 for 3 yesterday, and Steve Pearce. Don’t know if I love that. On the one hand, it’s game two. It’s not that imperative to win. Let’s see if Travis can play.
On the other hand, we just got out fudge packed in game one. How about putting your best, proven players out there to prevent another blowout?
I have to get something off my chest. I’m worried about Christian Vazquez. He’s already hitting home runs. It’s way too early. He’s on pace to hit like 10 this year. I don’t know if I can handle him having more than 7. 10 is so much for Vazquez.
As opposed to what Pat Brown said about Colton Brewer being terrible on our podcast, he pitched pretty well for that one inning. Gave up no runs and struck out some poor Mariner. Just wanted to throw that in there before I’m mean to our staff.
Another edit: MITCH! I TOLD YOU HE SHOULDVE STARTED! Moreland keeps coming up with big hits and home runs and I’m thoroughly shocked about it every time. I should expect more but I don’t and I don’t know why. It’s 1:19 am. I’m about to go to bed and the Sox are up 7-6. I hope it stays that way.
I know the bullpen is a problem but can anybody pitch? Anybody in the state of Massachusetts? Is it that the pitching is that unbelievably incompetent or are the Mariners that good? The Mariners can’t possibly be this good. I know the Red Sox aren’t this bad. It’s ok. Deep breaths. In Cora we trust.
In the end THE RED SOX GOT THAT MOTHAFUCKING DUUUUUB YESSIR FIRST OF MANY. The rust has been thoroughly shaken off and the Red Sox are back in action.
Matt Barnes looks like he’s going to be a good set up guy for Thornburg down the line.
Full disclosure: I wrote this blog intermittently throughout the game. The Sox did not play well overall. This was an ugly game. But a win in an ugly game is still a win so I’ll take it.
Sox win 7-6 (1-1; T2 in the East)
Anything But E 