Okay so some of you may have seen the news that the A’s made some serious moves this week. Getting some trustworthy arms to revitalized their bullpen. The biggest addition is this Nate kid.
Just gassing up the ole radar gun for the girls. Respect the move. I too enjoy showing off the canon, in fact I was touching the 80s during downtime at my internship with the Wareham Gatemen. Zero warm up, just some good ole ibuprofen and a cold compress afterwards. Unfortunately, the Gatemen are a respectable sports establishment and did not need my assistance like the A’s.
This whole story as touching as it may be, is just infuriating. The Oakland A’s have the ability to just goof around and get some scrub pumping mid 90s like he’s Jonah Hill. I would kill for the Red Sox to be that secure with their pitching where they can pull shleps off the streets for gimicks. But then I started thinking… The Sox are at the point where getting these guys off the concourse and into the pen makes just as much sense as tossing Markus Walden out their for 2/3 of an inning.
If I am Sam Kennedy facing a looming crisis of selling tickets for this team that’s as uncomfortable to watch as Aziz Ansari’s new stand up where he just jokingly apologizes for harassing a woman, I’m considering what the A’s are doing.
Here’s the plan, you open up an hour earlier than usual. Let fans get in front of the radar, and the three hardest hurlers get the opportunity to dress to be the relief and closer for the night. Now I’m sure the contracts and liability waivers would be a drag, but if you promise some townie bombed out on Dr. McGillicuddy’s he was slinging on the red line that he can be a ball player for the night, he’ll sign his soul away.
Make it happen Sam. The 2019 Sox are already a joke, might as well start entertaining the masses somehow.
Anything But E 