Leaves are the way to solve the oceans rising.
Yes, that is a picture of Tycho Brahe. Why? He has a sick mustache.
I’m sitting here thinking “bro fall comes every year but the leaves just disappear? They’re all just gone off the gound by like May?”
But we only think they’re gone. They aren’t actually gone. This isn’t some phlogisten shit. There’s the law of the conservation of mass and the wood has to become ashes or eveaportae into heat and smoke or some shit. The same for leaves. The wind doesn’t just take them into oblivion and they don’t get glued back onto trees when school starts up again.
Follow me here.
They just go into the woods. The leaves just get chucked into the woods and then dirt and scum and water and deer corpses get blown onto them and cover them. The leaves join mass graves of other leaves and the floor of the woods and grass rises a couple millimeters every season. We don’t notice because it’s minimal and just think about how much time you spend in the woods. I bet minimal is also a good word to describe your time spent yearly in the forest.
How old are trees? That is a question this blogger can ask Google for you so you don’t have to. They’re 400 million years old. Brontiosauruses ate off trees back in the day.
400 millions autumns. That means the ground has probably risen like 10 feet since then.
The ground is getting higher. The ocean is getting higher (as ice melts) and the ocean is getting higher so they cancel each other out.
Now, ice is bigger than water. I know, that sounds insane. Go and fill a solo cup up to the brim and put it in the freezer over night. The cup will probably break. That’s because water exapnds as it becomes ice. The ice hardens and the air betweens the water molecules remains and allows the water to expand. The volume of ice is bigger than the volume of the water that it once was. Not to mention the salt involved for the ocean.
So, with ice being bigger than water, there’s actually less water in the ocean when the ice melts so it’s not even a problem to begin with. But, if that’s too hard of a truth for you to entertain, then I will again refer you to the leaves making up the difference.
“But, Murph, why do I have to recycle then? Why is everyone pushing against ‘global warming?'”
Good question. The answer? MONEY
That’s what it’s all about. That’s why you do your job. That’s why we write for this blog. We’re in this rat race for the money. We’re all little piglets and we NEED the milk from the teet of the big capitalist pig system that’s keeping us locked down and continuing to suqash us into smaller and smaller runts that are easier to keep obedient so the powers that be can remain the powers that be and buy companies to build rockets so they can fly to space just because it’s a Thursday and they’ve out wealthed Earth’s pleasures.
There’s a German company, Desertec, that “plans” to put solar panels all over the Sahara. They’re also funding a solar farm in Morocco for millions and millions of dollars. They don’t have any solar panels in the Sahara. So how did they get all this money?
The capitalist devil worshippers in the Western world have funded the company to propogandize hope to us simpletons. If it “exists”, then we’re able to believe in it. Sort of like God or England winning the soccer.
We donate and pay the town for recycling bins because they’ve told us that it matters and save the oceans and it doesn’t matter. The oceans are safe. Miami is unfortuantely here to stay.
Every so often, the government and Illuminati and Grand Masons give Exxon a little bag to set a part of the water on fire to scare the blue checkmarks into further entrenching their message. Do you know who is the CEO of Exxon? Me neither! Shouldn’t we hate that woman or person? (That’s a joke I stole from Alex Horne on Taskmaster).
If they found out we knew the leaves were cacelling out the ice, they’d lose al control. As of now, they just pass money back and forth because they can’t be embarrssed by not having a birthday presnt for Bill Gates or whoever. What do you get the man who has everything? A suitcase made of leather and diamonds that smells like Drakkor Noir filled with $100 bills. If they don’t have the money to pass around, because we, in the proletariat have learned, then all they have is a Hallmark card of a monkey with googly eyes. That isn’t good or funny!
We get tricked into believing in “climate” so that Bezos has a gift for Branson besides “yet another moon rock” or ” a an ‘acre’ of land in Scotland”. The leaves (earth) cancel out the water (unfrozen ice) from the sea levels.
I wish this wasn’t true because I HATE Amsterdam and would LOVE to see that city and everyone in it drown.
Discalimer: Everything is pretend. This world is fake. It’s all fugazi, fairy dust, it’s not fucking real. I don’t believe a word I just wrote I, personally, even lost my own self throughout it. Write whatever you want. Make funny. The sun is gonna explode one day and nothing will matter. “Do it. Just, DO IT” – Shia LaBeouf
I need it to be abundantly clear you all (Hi, Mom!) know I’m kidding.
Anything But E 