God damnit.
I was about to do all that sleep bullshit. I had my nightly podcast all ready and queueueueueueueued up to go full night night and then Bleacher Report (thanks a lot, Perrault) went ahead and RUINED my night.
“Monty Goes to MIL Locker Room” reads the headline.
At this point, I’ve got no idea what Monty is. My mind immediately goes to Monty Python. Did Giannis lose an arm and call his injury as “flesh wound”? No.
Fun fact: Monty is the first name of Monty Williams. Mr. Williams may be better recognized among the crowd of us casual basketball fans (fan feels like a strong word in my personal case but I DID get VERY invested in a Celtics vs Magic game on New Years in like 2018) as the head coach of the Phoenix Suns-the team MIL (short for Milwaukee Bucks) beat in The Finals. Or, if you’re the type of bucktoothed neanderthal to say “British Open” instead of The Open, The U.S Finals.
Anyway, here’s the video:
Yes. I know. I pulled the video from Barstool Sports, our main competitor-which makes the rest of this blog existentially hypocritical.
Here are two more videos that have the same vibe to me:
I mean, come fucking on.
I’m well aware I’m cutting it close to being the 71 year old from Cornhusk, IA sitting in his camouflage recliner firing off tweets to his 17 followers about how kids nowadays would never understand what it’s like to fight in Normandy or Korea or some third world country America bombed the shit out of so we could move out Toyota Corollas forward.
Either way-this is bullshit and I’m fed up.
All this bologna can be distilled down to “Self-centered attention seeker attempts to somehow find a way to get more camera time while giving their own team the midle finger for the sake of ‘helping’ somebody who lost while simultaneously inevitably making thm feel way worse.”
I know Monty lost so his situation is different than my other examples (slightly) but the idea still stands. In any case, the celebration, of a team amounting from all 20 kids on a high school baseball team to all 100 or whatever people involved in day to day operations of THE MILWAUKEE BUCKS, being interrupted so the team spotlight can be disproportionately centered onto a single asshole so that Scott Van Pelt and Bailey Carlin can quote tweet the video with the caption “Classy move.”
You won a championship? That’s a great achievement. Go celebrate. I had a coach-actually, cocah isn’t a strong enough word-I had a genius who could be considered the greatest person to ever grace the South Shore with their mentorship and heart say “Whether you get fired from a job or your girlfriend breaks up with you or you end up living on the street-you can look back on this year and say ‘I am a Patriot League champion’.”
Wow. Winning seems hard. If I had had more than a minor role in winning anything more than the two day “Pembroke Little League tournament” then maybe I could say more. But right now, my thesis comes down to “Winning seems hard.”
Go celebrate with your friends and teammates. This is your time to understand the highs and lows of high school football. You wanna console the losing team or congratulate the winning team? Send a text. Hold a press conference, if applicable, calling them great compeitors or some bullshit that sounds nicer than saying “they’re good but we’re better.”
The pitcher is what really pisses me off. That shit was premeditated as fuck. If, let’s keep picking on him because why not, Pat Brown went to Silver Lake, then I’m yucking a disgusting slide daddy across his belt and throwing his ass into a chair before my entire team swallows me into a clebratory pile and then texting him “LMAO” the next day.
It’s corny thinly veiled narcissism and attention seeking that people can label as “sportmanship” to make themselves seem more “elevated” and better than you for 15 minutes on the timeline.
Imagine Aaron Boone walking into the Sox locker room to congratulate them on 2018. I know the Suns and Bucks obviously don’t have the same rivalry but he’d be torn apart.
Bullshit. Annoying. Cocky. I hate it. Fuck you if even an iota of you thinks about anything close to a smile while watching these videos. Fuck you to Jupiter.
Anything But E 